Astro Reality
Published by Al Young | Filed under Music
From their very inception, most bands walk that most treacherous tightrope: balancing, on the one hand, their ideas and preconceptions of what they want to sound like, and on the other, the vocabulary of how to define that sound. So it is, once again, with a heavy heart that I have to whine about the misuse of the label ’screamo’ amongst the populace at large. Astro Reality are to screamo what Hawthorne Heights are(/were, ha) to emo: a travesty of mislabelling and essentially a bastardisation of a genre most radically different to its diluted ‘followers’.
However, a history lesson isn’t what this article is about: even if their sins of woefully inadequate genre nomenclature are to be forgotten, the music itself exposes doubt as to the validity of their self-professed status as a band. They state that they ‘want to be known across the land for being unique and keeping it Astro’, but any prior illusions you may still have about their uniqueness in the sea of their ’screamo’ (inverted commas are important) peers are dispelled as soon as you hear the first chord in any of their songs. As for ‘keeping it Astro’, I’m not nearly well informed enough to know what that means: the cool kids are probably laughing at me right now for that.
Warranty, their most recent musical foray, shows the instantly recognisable chug-chug of a distorted electric guitar and the most dire screaming I have ever heard, even in a band of this perversion. The screams are not the light accentuated growl of the likes of Tim Kasher or Geoff Rickly, nor are they the visceral-yet-high-pitched wail of Billy Werner: they’re something all together more weak, a cross of the two styles as unwelcome as a 20 year old at a Conservative Club, and just about as out of place amidst the pop-punk riffs and hackneyed lead parts.
Listening through the rest of the tracks on their MySpace, one cannot help but get the feeling of deja entendu (and no, not the Brand New album. That work is holy and should not even be sullied with a mention here), and that is because, in all sincerity, the songs do sound the same. Guitars? Distorted, with crispy overtones. Bass? There. Drumming? Keeping time in the most dull ways imaginable. Think ditchwater, mixed with Jimmy Carr’s humour: shit, plain shit. Vocals: dual and completely out of harmony. It doesn’t work. It doesn’t work. It doesn’t work.
There’s a limited school of thought (only on certain sites on the Internet, granted) that Casey Calvert’s opiate, citalopram and clonazepam fuelled death was due to the realisation that he had, almost single-handedly, destroyed a once great genre and ruined its name for the good many years of copycat bands to come. I sincerely hope that this band follow his lead, and just give up on music or find an original niche: I have no doubt of their instrumental ability. I just abhor their shitty music.
22 Responses to “Astro Reality”
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Copyright is an archaic contruct. Starve in Heaven
June 6th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Lol your just out to hate
Astro have insane talent and amazing lyrics and wicked energy
June 6th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Yes the old tracks from the first ep are dry but the new shit sounds wicked Warranty unitl the end
June 6th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
ps I love Jimmy Carr if you don’t then your humour died long ago i recon your music taste is old and dry like stale bread the taste is all gone but lol funny review
June 6th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Dude you spend far too long saying “i dont like them”
People like you should die young.
Prick
June 6th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
@Kevin:
There are more positive reviews here than negative: how am I out to hate?
Amazing lyrics would be the likes of I Would Set Myself on Fire for You, Dear Diary I Seem to be Dead, Envy and Circle Takes the Square. This is dull pseudo-poetry.
Jimmy Carr is tragic, really. He’s trying to be a less offensive Roy Chubby Brown, and he doesn’t live up to the legend. It’s unfortunate, really. I’m more of a fan of the likes of Frankie Boyle for my humour.
@Stephen:
Articulation is the first step to godliness. At least I can justify my opinion beyond ‘people like you should die young’ and a rather weak insult.
June 6th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Oh em gee, Alex, you’re like, proper proper proper being hated on!
I like how eloquently you etched out your distaste for Astro Reality, I really do. I couldn’t have written it better myself.
June 6th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Shit, I forgot to add a ‘lol’ in there somewhere. My bad.
June 7th, 2008 at 12:35 am
Haha. I think Kevin means you’re ‘out to hate’ the tripe everyone else seems to like; Dialysis and Dirty Minds being the best examples… who cares? If the music is bad it doesn’t deserve any credit. End of. ‘Astro Reality’ is just re-used regurgitated shite. It doesn’t offer anything new, It’s not life affirming in any way shape or form; it’s not what music is supposed to be.
And for the record, Jimmy Carr is fucking AWFUL.
June 9th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
I have no idea how i’ve stumbled upon this site, but FUCK ME!!!!!
These are the saddest people on the planet! Some kid is reviewing what sounds like a demo and everyones going mental! Give the band a break man, they’re just making music, not everyone has to be a musical pioneer.
And although its not my normal cup of tea, i didn’t dislike the music, so if you read this Astro Reality, don’t listen to Al Young, not everyone has to like you.
Tom x
June 9th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
“I Would Set Myself on Fire for You, Dear Diary I Seem to be Dead, Envy and Circle Takes the Square. This is dull pseudo-poetry”
Mate you sound like a nob
June 9th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
oh yeah, and Sapheen, i agree, jimmy carr is awful, and cringeworthy.
I will never come back to this website, so enjoy your bitch about a demo kids.
July 1st, 2008 at 4:50 pm
We just searched the fine chaps of Astro Reality in google and came across this page in just browsing,
This seems interesting, everyone is allowed to have thier opinion, But it mostly looks like jealousy and hatred,
And on the terms Astro Reality sounds like all other bands, I’d beg to differ, i work for birmingham music and i have not seen a band like the lads of Astro Reality, In the way of thier attitude and approach to the music scene, And especially thier style and dont get me started on thier music, It hasn’t been done before,
You may mention other artists that are different unlike themselves, Do you work in the industry? And have you researched the subjects throughly before you gave them that review?
But last i heard arent the lads in touch with different genere’s of music? And know and work with different artists who are in different genere’s? We know every artist in birmingham and everything about them, We “youtubed” the lads and we came across a video of them in a studio doing a very alternative track, some may call it hip hoppy, Also you mention Mr.Dialysis, Isn’t some of the members if not all of Astro Reality friends with this artist? You got to remember the music is very tight together.
I think you need to research your subjects more my kid, And dont try critasize the music scene in birmingham when you dont even know the ground levels
The Birmingham music team
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:06 pm
‘Do you work in the industry?’ - relevant how? Music is not an industrial process, it is art. Art can be objectively measured.
‘And dont try critasize the music scene in birmingham when you dont even know the ground levels’ - I am at the ground levels: Stella Dawes, Shoot, Panda!?, Sam Bentley are much more ground level than Astro Reality.
‘We know every artist in birmingham and everything about them’ - I sincerely doubt it.
July 22nd, 2008 at 1:20 am
Sadly i read everything on this page… first word lol, i am the lead singer & song writer of Astro Reality. Al Young have you heard our latest song ‘dreams become reality’ ? Al Young do you have lots of people who adore your music? Al Young do you have better things to do ?
ok i take that back i am glad you wrote this review it was entertaining
I am offended lol but what ever x
August 11th, 2008 at 11:49 am
spot on review mate.
At least you have the balls to state the obvious.
If you’re looking for a music scene there ain’t one here.
Head to Manchester or head south and dont come back.
But I’m sure you know that anyway cos your not a thicko like that kevin fox or whatever he was called.
astro = prehistoric genre with mixing that can only be described as shockingly shit.
Astro = washed up genre that suck a whole heap of ball
August 11th, 2008 at 11:55 am
By the way ignore that Cunt that cited Sam bently as a credible artist of Birmingham.
He also is fuckking shhhhhiiite
August 11th, 2008 at 11:57 am
dialysis too is absolute shit
In leaving brim asap
August 11th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
I CREASED all the way through this bullshit I cant believe theres any discussion on if theyre a good band.
Just to clear up for the retards out there, including birmingham musics scenes Jamie JAy
They suck, the big one
August 14th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
sup’ J Bomb here
Wagwarn with all this hatred?
This is a review not a fucking discussion board.
Sean Mallon seems clearly offended by the review so lets all have a chill sesh
Im sure we can find some common ground somewhere.
August 26th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
al young should be shot in the head for being such a prick. Lots of people like astro and all the other bands he’s critisised. Maybe he’s just trying to male a name for himself but I think he’s just a twat. Who probably writes reviews whilst were all having sex.
August 26th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
No. 20… Your name made me giggle.
‘Lots of people like astro and all the other bands he’s critisised’
Read the other articles. The vast majority of all these reviews are positive. Fucking idiot.
August 27th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Why iz every1 h8in on Al? Astro Reality iz shit.