A Distorted Reality.

Times of calm; times of quiet: they bore me.

Argument, debate: this is what I live for, even if I know fuck all about the subject at hand and even if the matter is something completely and utterly banal. Haha, I remember, once, spending two hours arguing with my best friend of the time whether the colour of a wall was auburn or just a plain brown: the height of my pedanticism displayed in an discussion which would, whatever its outcome, have an effect bordering on a nihilism.

I play Devil’s Advocate just for the sake of getting an argument out of people from time to time: even if I am vehemently in support of what the other believes and even if the other concerned is fully aware of my support for them. I usually know how to press the buttons that will get me where I want to be, though: so supposed knowledge means very little.

I just like to play games.

Rape victims told alcohol consumption may cost them compensation.

And I don’t understand the outrage. You get drunk and you lose your ability to defend yourself, you lose certain awarenesses of your surroundings, you become more vulnerable: but all of this is voluntary - nobody forced these women to drink. Their drinking led to an increased likelihood of getting into a situation where they would be likely to be raped. I’m not saying that they deserved it, or were ‘asking for it’ (that would indeed be an awful thing to say), but they made themselves accomplices to their rapists. I find it far more offensive and far more concerning that one of the women affected by this was awarded full amount (£11,000 of taxpayer’s money) after her solicitor claimed that the 25% cut amounted to ‘indirect sexual discrimination’: notice how no claim like this has ever been made for the patently direct sexual discrimination of the legal definition of rape excluding male victims of sexual assault. Here is evidenced another example of how the knife does not cut both ways: everyone wants equality so long as it benefits them or makes them a little more equal than everyone else.

This raises another point: I don’t understand the logic behind the existence of CICA, nor do I understand why victims of crimes should be given compensation appropriated from taxpayer’s funds: the sixty-one million people of the United Kingdom did not each commit a crime against any given victim, only a handful (at most) did. These multi-thousand pounds payouts at a time would be better spent improving policing in order to 1) prevent these crimes and 2) catch the criminals behind these awful acts.

Being a victim of a violent crime should not be viable as a secondary income stream.

This scares me no end.

20% of supposedly intelligent, fully trained medical professionals polled in America believe that ‘God’ (whatever form that construct would take) is capable of reversing terminal prognoses. These people who have studied the diseases concerned; seen first hand their effects and their pathology; these people who should understand why ‘terminal’ is given the definition that it is: they are claiming that an invisible friend could reverse the progress of a disease.

Surely this affects the efficacy of the concerned 20%? Rather than attempting the use of empirically-backed scientific methodology, their faith in divine intervention may lead to a somewhat lax attitude in treating the not-quite-terminal-but-not-far-off. Granted, this does assume a huge lapse in professionalism which would not be befitting of the vast majority of hard-working, dedicated healthcare staff; but there must exist fundamentalists within the profession (purely on the rule of averages) who would rather wait for God’s approval that someone deserves to be treated (by God’s own hand, no less) rather than treat them themselves.

OK, I know that I am being beyond sensationalist: but isn’t it a worry that people who could believe that something unprovable may be a better cure for disease than well-researched, heavily-proven science may be in charge of your care? I don’t believe that science and religion should ever overlap: religious, doctrine-instilled ethics should have no bind on medical ethics. The stem cell debate should purely be an analysis of the cost of a handful of potential (and indeed only potential) lives against the benefit of these sacrifices’ to many millions of others; rather than the inclusion of the risk of the incurrence of God’s almighty wrath.

The 57% of ‘average’ people believing in the power of prayer is somewhat more understandable: people cling to whatever hope that they are able to in times of great stress, such as the impending death of a loved one. And I suppose that the emotional stress of watching person after person die helplessly would push doctors inclined to do so into the realms of belief in divine intervention; but the stereotypical ‘consultant’s indifference’ would be a far more palatable alternative to a prayer for me.

I love when the subservients of the Christian (or otherwise) Church commit folly ill-befitting of their supposed ‘higher’ moral stations: it really does, with no reservations make me smile. Today, I had the (admittedly guilty) pleasure of reading of a priest admitting child porn charges. To add further hilarity, of sorts, to this story; he was also the Chairman of Governors at a local school. I’m always reminded of quotes such as this from Luke 18:16:

But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.

In essence: Jesus loved kids, why shouldn’t you? God’s kingdom does not disallow such things.

And, actually, thinking back on it: you see biblical passages condemning the lying of man with man; but never anything about the lying of man with non-developed woman. A lot of the Christian imagery of Jesus is shown as him being a naked child: some religious sceptics have used this as evidence of a Christian upbringing, surrounded by the imagery, predisposing children to aspirations of the love depicted by this image: young, pure and perfect; innocence which could only be found again in the young.

The bible is full of sexual doctrine-based contradictions. Compare:

Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

of Leviticus 18:22 and:

In eternity there is neither male nor female.

of Galatians 3:28. Surely if gender is irrelevant in eternity, it should be in the earthly life - it’s only putting one thing in line with another. Of course, we should never forget the inherent contradictions of the sexual guidance given above and the later advice, in Romans:

To be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life… The carnal mind is enmity against God … They that are in the flesh cannot please God … If you live after the flesh, you shall die: but if you through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, you shall live.

There you have it: kill your inner shameful pleasures and you shall live for eternity.

A friend and I, following an amazing idea on his part, have a project of sorts on our hands.

We want to, in a manner which will not plainly be ignored (such as the tragic UK Youth Parliament), show the political and social awareness of the 18-29 year old age bracket: with the benefit of looking back upon past election results and presumptions made as to the loyalties of the electorate by the time of the next General Election (assuming the beginning of an economic recession pushing disenfranchised Tories to the likes of UKIP and the BNP), we’ve come to the conclusion that this age group would be substantial enough a force to completely alter the outcome of the Sutton Coldfield constituency election; even with the 26% Conservative majority at 2005’s election.

We aim to show passion in the youth for the future and the realisation of the use of democracy to achieve noble and realistic goals, rather than the centrist monoculture’s continuation of inaction for the youth for at least another 4 years: save the smear campaigns of our rapidly decaying moral fibre in the face of our non-conventional family ‘units’. Our method would be through the formation of a voting bloc of those in this age group: a list of signatories whose votes shall be delivered to he who deems himself most inclined to serve the interests of our group: a potential 11,000 votes, from our math, should we be able to get all of those of our target group involved.

It’s our hope that this will snowball and cause similar movements elsewhere: revolution through the ballot boxes; manipulation through a right given to us.

It’s a noble idea, no?

I’m getting neurotic about potential choices which I may have to make next year. In 346 days, to be more exact; and it’s a decision which will affect the rest of my life, and a decision which I cannot undo if it turns out to be the incorrect one.

I’m talking, of course, about university choice.

Assuming that I’m offered a place at Edinburgh (which, with my grades being as they are currently, isn’t at all infeasible), my heart will definitely be pulling towards there: a city of art and culture unparalleled in Britain. Assuming that, by some miracle of an interview, I am offered a place at Cambridge and get the grades required to have the offer be worth anything, my head will definitely find favour with this choice: snob value and headhunting opportunities for the future; guaranteed (more or less) social mobility. Plus, I could be, like, a spy.

It’s really a hard decision: it’s the age old short-term happiness vs. future prospects debate. In all probability, I would love Edinburgh as a city and find favour with the people there. With Cambridge, however, I fear that the smarm and arrogance which I have witnessed there myself would rub off on me, and make me even worse than I am now. Currently, my arrogance is of the cute, cocky kind: it would probably become the tragically overbearing kind with the Cambridge atmosphere. The supposed intelligentsia amongst the supposed intelligentsia will inevitably form a them vs. us attitude with the populace at large, and this scares me.

My Chemistry teacher said, after I’d said that I didn’t want to become an ‘Oxbridge tosser’ and so wouldn’t be applying:

People like you need to go. It’s the only way that this will ever change, it’s the only way that the poor/rich education gap will be balanced.

And it has to be said that I thought that he really had a point: I owe it to my upbringing, in a way, to better myself. Climb out of the pit in which we live: break the dependency upon state handouts. I’m not saying that Edinburgh would not be good enough for this, but Cambridge would open so many more doors to me, I feel: as much as anyone will try to deny it, a Cambridge degree would have a certain cache to it which may be found to be irresistible to employers. It’s a helping hand from the mythology surrounding the university.

I’ll choose a better future with 3 years of misery over 3 years of misery and a slightly poorer future any day.

Somebody just compared me to Edward Cullen again. This depresses me.

When I see you, I’m on fire.

I finally see my main problem in life at the moment: I completely lack any semblance of the quality of passion. People are unable to move me. Music fails to motivate me. Even the newborn kittens next door can’t raise even a smile.

My writing has been reduced to this: this tragic semi-rambling, devoid of any real content and lacking intention.

It’s times like this when I can usually listen to Envy’s Insomniac Doze and just forget whatever (no doubt stereotypically teenage) problems I’m facing, and just focus my mind upon one thing: this one thing usually being writing something or fixing a 1960s, 1970s or 1980s film SLR and selling it on for a profit, as is my main income stream these days. Now, this album is the one of Envy’s works which is practically universally criticised by fans and non-fans alike for being rather samey all of the way through: but this is why it works for me; it can be put to play and pretty much ignored by the end of Further Ahead of Warp for the feeling of having heard it all before - it’s like my white noise, I suppose. In spite of the repetitious nature of the songs, each one is beautiful and capable of putting me in somewhat of a trance individually. Read the translations of the lyrics and you’ll see just from that how moving these songs are. Or you could just download the album here, for free.

But, of late, it’s not doing it any more. I can’t focus; I can’t get involved in my work; I can’t get wrapped up in something and ignore all else. As stated earlier, nothing is affecting me. I’m passive almost to a stoic extent, and I really don’t want this right now. I want the side of me that can see beauty in everything; no matter how perverse the object of beautification or my methods of beautifying it. I want the side of me willing to justify pederasty as love little more than misinterpreted by our incorrect cultural viewpoints; ‘age is but a number’, and all that. No, I have to be stuck with this all-consuming, omnipresent cynicism and paranoia at a time when it is not useful to me: I don’t need the defence mechanisms right now; I just want a little misguided happiness.

I’m not living: I’m just alive.

That which has lain dormant for a month and a half has finally reawoken.

Scheming, plotting, manipulating: I am an artist.

I was going to write a post about the Conservatives’ Breakthrough Britain policy suggestions this evening, but I then realised that the report is 861 pages long. So, tonight I shall take the easy way out, and just comment upon the delightful fifteen page report commissioned upon only problems in Birmingham (entitled Breakthrough Birmingham); which is apparently the hotbed of ‘worklessness’ of all of the UK’s main cities.

The report starts as would be expected really: a short introduction from Iain Duncan Smith followed by some initial ’state of the city’ declarations: as of May 2007, 21% of Birmingham adults were claiming key benefits being the main point standing out to me. Key failures in Birmingham’s educational system are pointed out reasonably objectively and rationally. Then, as would be expected of a report commissioned by the Conservative Party, the inevitable descent into description of the moral decay intrinsic of non-conventional family structures is hit upon:

Family breakdown

• At the time of the 2001 census, there were 37,696 lone parent households in Birmingham – almost 30 per cent of all households. This figure is 34 percent higher than the national rate of 21.8 per cent.
• In Birmingham, more than one in 20 girls between the ages of 15-17 will become pregnant – this is above the national rate of one in 24.
• In Birmingham 78 children per 10,000 are looked after by the Local Authority – this compares to 55 per 10,000 nationally.

Having a working role model at home increases the chances of a child being in work in adulthood. The worklessness rate for lone parents nationally is 42 percent, compared to 5 per cent for couple households with dependent children. Strengthening the family would have considerable impact on the number of children living in a household with a working role model and would therefore improve their future prospects.
This would also have much broader implications. Children from families that have experienced family breakdown are also much more likely to become teenage mothers or get involved in crime. The family environment is instrumental in the physical, emotional and psychological development of a child and the pressures of economic dependency put considerable strain on its stability.

The shorter version: Birmingham is pretty fucked up, basically. Teenage whores and single mothers abound, producing children bound to be nought but a burden. I must admit: I am biased here, being the product of a single-mother family myself; but their points are made moot by reality. Worklessness is higher amongst single parents in order that they are able to look after their children more readily in many cases: would they rather have the children lack even this supposedly ‘unbritish’ stability? The children’s ‘future prospects’ are not bound by the origins of their parents, but rather the capabilities and support of parents: and that is the true issue, not this structure snobbishness so popular with all three of our centrist parties.

The two areas of Birmingham chosen as case studies are known within the city as being amongst the worst: Sparkbrook and Balsall Heath. Most inhabitants of the Birmingham/Greater Birmingham area would also be aware that these areas being chosen would be indicative of the Conservatives’ slight xenophobic bent, having the highest Asian and Black populations in the city. Educational failure in these areas is put down mostly to English being a second language for many students: surely this is more of an immigration issue than a social one.

People living in deprivation and experiencing multiple pathways to poverty are more likely to be involved in crime, or addicted to drugs and alcohol. Marginalised in society, self belief and aspirations are significantly reduced. People therefore turn to negative sources of affirmation and inclusion.

I call bullshit: I doubt there to be any marginalisation other than that caused by the proliferation of the tertiary sector: if not for the strong desire for supposed ‘professionals’, even the uneducated would be able to find work as, for lack of a better term, factory-fodder. They’d still be living in deprivation, but they’d have work: something which is genuinely lacking in Birmingham.

The supposed solutions also leave a little to be desired; it’s all just advice bordering on ‘throw money at the problem’. Welfare-to-work schemes are hardly a new idea, with the entired organisation of the Job Centre being (admittedly haplessly) in existence solely for this task. An idea (and nothing more) of reinventing the welfare system is suggested, with only the core tenet of ‘incentivising work’ - it’s nothing concrete. Of course, the suggestion is made that the institution (archiac as it may be) of marriage should be recognised and rewarded; and that a two parent foundation should be blessed: I see this as nothing short of a veiled promotion of traditionally Christian values.

They still want nothing but to help those who ‘help themselves’.